The Secrets of My Heart

It has been a long time since I shared my thoughts with this blog. And it is an even rarer occurrence that I share my poetry with other eyes, let alone with a public forum. Usually, that is because I’m hyper critical of my own work and almost never consider my work “finished.”

But this morning I stumbled across this rough draft of a poem I originally wrote with my four sisters in mind. It was written during a time of intense private pain and deep gratitude for the people in my life. As I re-read the words I wrote years ago, I felt convicted to push through the awkwardness of “not finished” and share this piece with you:

Sister

Do you know the secret places of my heart
        where I hide thee?
Where I hoard you safe from theft and loss 
        in my memory?

You have walked with me,
        run with me,
        cried with me,
        laughed with me,
        surpassed me.

I have loved you,
        lost you,
        chased you,
        found you,
        learned you.

In the dark times when I hurt you,
       you hurt me,
       misunderstood thee.
I search those secret places,
      and there find thee - we.
Five different fruits of the same tree. 

I see you,
      feel you,
      hear you,
      savor you,
      treasure you. 

I find your gentleness,
       your pride,
       your strength,
       your vivacity.

I hold you in the secret places of my heart
and in the quiet remember thee. 

You are my gift,
       my burden,
       my challenge,
       my encouragement,
       my sister. 

Letting people into the secret places of our hearts can be a scary thing. God calls us to love one another, but doing so puts us at risk of becoming deeply hurt.

This poem is a reminder that no matter the future loss I may one day face, I hold the people I love in my heart and nothing can steal them from me. Love doesn’t come without risk, without pain, but we do have this guarantee. It is a reflection of the guarantee that we are secure in the arms of our savior.

Who do you hold in your heart? And in whose heart do you reside?

With all my heart,

Johanna

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