Obviously the blog hasn’t seen a lot of action in 2019. I could probably get really creative and make a list of a million excuses as to why buuut let’s just skip all that and put it all out there: this blog terrifies me.
I mean, what kind of person am I to just blog whenever I feel led? (A normal one.) I realize now that I set all these expectations for myself so as to impress others and that I’ve stopped writing, often, because I want to please others. I lose sight of why I ever started this crazy thing in the first place and instead I become obsessed with wanting to feel loved and supported by those around me.
I am sure you’ve heard tons about the Enneagram, but if not, it’s essentially a number system that allows you to learn more about yourself. It’s not an attempt to put you into a category but rather a way for you to understand some of the motivation behind what you do/say. Over the past few months, I have read and listened to a lot of things regarding the Enneagram, and while I recognize we’re all individuals, it’s insanely comforting to know that there are similarities that link us together and that help us to better understand ourselves.
So, I share all of this to say, fear stinks and it doesn’t have a place here. Once you recognize what your fear is (i.e. my fear of being unwanted or feeling unworthy of being loved) you’re able to combat that with truth.
“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.”Romans 8:37-39
I’m learning that I am worthy and I am loved. I might not be everyone’s cup of tea. In fact, I won’t be everyone’s cup of tea, but I was created with purpose and I am loved by the One who created all things.