I miss it, but I don’t…

There’s nothing quite like being sick and spending days in bed to drive you straight into a reminiscent state. ⁣
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The truth is, I miss it. ⁣
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I miss the long naps cuddling together. ⁣
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I miss our long hours together that required nursing and changing diapers and lots of learning on both ends. ⁣

The truth is, those days were some of my best. But those days were also some of my hardest. ⁣
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While I loved napping together, I lost a lot of motivation during that time. ⁣
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While I loved our long hours together, those long hours sometimes led me to my knees…more often than I care to admit. ⁣
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The truth is, entering motherhood is hard and I don’t think we talk about that a lot. But after two years I finally recognize that during those early days I didn’t know how to take care of myself. I silently suffered in a way a lot of mothers do and I wish that wasn’t the case. ⁣
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The truth is, there were euphoric moments but there were also very very real moments. But the beauty of it all, the part that I took for granted, was that God was with us every step of the way, holding us, loving us, and so graciously guiding us through as new mom and baby. ⁣
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I miss it. I miss our bond during that time. But I am loving the toddler stage. I am learning so much about myself, my husband, and our family. And for that I am so grateful. ⁣⠀⠀⁣

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