It’s funny, isn’t it? How we build up the end of the year to this one big moment where the clock strikes twelve, you kiss your love (or dog…), shout out “Happy New Year” and then go to bed? You have family traditions like black eyed peas and cabbage and a day of relaxation. You write out your New Year’s Resolutions with great conviction and then they fail in a few months.
Can I be honest? I don’t do the whole resolutions thing anymore because I can’t. I can’t make up things that I hope to achieve with little to no real direction and then sit disappointed in myself for not following through.
In recent years, I have changed two things that ultimately replace the whole notion of resolutions in my life.
First of all, I no longer wait until the beginning of the year to instill a new habit. If I’m serious about it, I want to do it now. If I’m making excuses as to why I have to wait or don’t want to start now or whatever, then I have realized I have to ask myself how passionate I am about it. If I’m truly passionate about it, then I’m going to start now, not later.
The other piece of this that I have fallen in love with is rather than making a list of resolutions, I choose one word and then create goals based of that one word. For example, last year my word was benevolent. I wrote it out, I defined it, and then I created goals that went along with it in each season of my life, and all of it had one common thread — I wanted to be more intentional with my words. What I say, how I say it, and even to whom I’m saying it. My overarching goal maybe wasn’t something I could measure. I couldn’t say I lost x pounds or that I made $xxx, but in reflection, I can see both where I flourished and where I fell short. And the beautiful thing is that, despite choosing a new word for this year, I can (and hopefully will) continue to grow in this area of my life.
This year, my word is reckless — without thinking or caring about the consequences of an action.
Pause. Let’s all take a deep breath and work through this together. The purpose of this isn’t to say that Dustin and I will suddenly be thrown in to debt and that all reason will be thrown out the window. But if you are close to me, you may know that despite how confident I pretend to be, I often struggle with fear. Fear of failure. Fear of acceptance. Fear of rejection. Fear of pressure. Fear of judgment. And with that comes of a fear of following through on a lot of things. There are too many what ifs and so I settle.
This year, I want to be reckless in the way I love others, the work that I do, and in the way that I mother. I don’t want to be held back by fear or limitations that I have set for myself.
It’s funny because as I debated between words I asked my best friend, my life partner. I narrowed it down and as I sat pondering and praying (because those two things obviously go together) I told him I wanted his input. Without hesitation he said “reckless.” I laugh because I think he knows me better than I know myself sometimes. Had I not asked him, I might’ve talked myself out of it. But he knows my hopes and dreams and he knows that sometimes I just need that push.
So here’s to 2019, to being brave, and being reckless in all that I do, bringing glory to the only One whose judgment truly matters…