How we view marriage matters

Last night, Dustin and I cuddled up together in bed, we gave each other good night kisses and exchanged ‘I love you’s, and then we prayed together. I wish I could say this was a nightly routine for us, but in all honesty, there are many nights that we don’t go to bed together or in which we miss out on praying together.


As Dustin drifted to sleep, I laid there reflecting on our marriage. Recently, I was listening to a podcast talking about how awesome marriage truly is in that it is a way for us to love another being just as the Lord has loved us (see Ephesians 5:22-33). How amazing that we are given the opportunity to mirror the love Christ pours out?IMG_0022And honestly, this podcast was a little convicting.


Three years into marriage and we are far from “figuring it out.” Looking back, I think I thought we understood marriage and had a strong idea. Obviously we knew it wasn’t going to be easy and I was one to preach that I don’t believe in divorce. I still don’t see divorce as a valid option, but I think back then there was still a part of me that pictured this happily-ever-after scenario. And who can blame me?


Culture has taught us that marriage should be easy and that our heart should always be in it, but the honest truth is that marriage is a choice day in and day out. Sometimes that choice comes easy but other times you find yourself praying for the ability to see past the conflict. Don’t get me wrong, I love Dustin and being married to him has been fun and exciting, but it has been anything other than easy.


Dustin and I have had to lean on God each and everyday of this marriage. I mean, we hadn’t even been married for a year when we found out we were going to be adding a baby into the mix. We were young and we’re still finding ourselves, and if God weren’t in the mix, I have no doubt we’d fall victim to society’s lies.


Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ has loved the Church and gave Himself for her.


So, to the singles, to the dating, to the newly engaged, to the newlyweds… rest in God and find peace in the fact that marriage was not meant to be perfect but rather two imperfect people coming together and loving through the mess.



Brently Snead

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